The Sun - October 09, 2009
Tales of the riverbank
BRAVE George Parsonage has spent his life patrolling the murky waters of the River Clyde.
As the lifeboat officer of the Glasgow Humane Society, he has helped people in the water for five decades.
Saving lives is in his blood - George's dad Ben also worked for the society until his death aged 76 in 1979.
But health and safety laws passed four years ago means Strathclyde Fire and Rescue are responsible for the river.
Now the 66-year-old - who still dedicates his time voluntarily - is considering writing a book about his experiences.
One call which stands out - attended by George and Ben - was the rescue of a naked blonde.
George - who lives in a stone house on Glasgow Green where the society is based - said: "It was so dark we could hardly see anything.
"Father said it would be best to wait a couple of hours until dawn to try to reach her. He could sense that something wasn't right about the body or its position.
"We told the crowd it was a tailor's dummy to get rid of the crowd. But in the light of day, it wasn't a shop dummy, but it wasn't human either." The 'victim' was a blow-up doll which when shot by a marksman's pellet, deflated and shot off downstream.
Ben's advice to his son was to always expect the unexpected.
George - who has recovered 800 bodies and saved 1,500 souls from the river - added: "One night my father thought he'd visit the gatemen at the Co-Op Bakery gatehouse.
"Two thugs appeared out of the shadows.
"He thought they were going to beat him up, when one said: "Aw Bennie, it's you. How's things?"
"My father remarked on what a nice night it was.
"One said: 'Aye, it's perfect. Nice and quiet with not too much moonlight.'
"Next morning my father was told the safe in the Co-Op had been blown and all the wages stolen."
Another memory was when a woman leapt into the river with her dog. George dashed out on the river and pulled a body out. He said: "I found myself looking at the nastiest looking pit bull terrier I had ever seen.
"I shouted 'sit' as loud as I could - to my astonishment, it did.
"Then a message came over the radio that the old woman had been found safe and well by the DOG branch."